Thanks for calling...have a great day!

Yay Yay Yay...the upstairs neighbor moved out this past weekend. When Bryan and I ran into him in the hall area with moving boxes, I know we both had a huge grin on our faces. I tried not to smile so big but it was really, really hard.

Today was my first interview (of sorts) in about 7 years. My "interview" for my previous job consisted of lunch with the boss at Chili's talking about how much the area had changed over the years. I just nodded a lot and stuffed my face full of chips and salsa, at his expense of course. Today I had a lot of questions to answer, albeit, it was over the telephone. This was actually my first phone interview ever. I don't know why I was so nervous but I was. My breakfast...ummm...kind of went through me. The same thing happened with my lunch. When 1:30 rolled around, I was just ready for it to be over with. Surprisingly, I think it went quite well. The Planning Director would ask a planning related question and then the HR Director would ask some cheesy 'interview' question. It went back and forth like that for 30 minutes and I managed to do ok. At least, I think I did ok. Once they finish up the phone interviews tomorrow, the HR Director is going to call back the top candidates on Wednesday to schedule a "real" interview next week some time. To be quite honest, I am not overly sure that I want the job but the way the economy is looking, I would be more than thrilled to get the offer. And even if I do not get it, at least I will have brushed up on my interview skills.

Well, Dancing with the Stars is on so it is time to say adieu.

Apartment Life

My neighbor upstairs is a single man living alone. He is around 5'7" and he weighs about 140 pounds. Living below him, you would think he weighed 500 pounds. He is so incredibly loud! It has taken everything my hubby has in him not to go upstairs and kick his skinny butt. I have never lived in an apartment before and I swear to God, this will be my last. Just the other day, Bryan and I parked behind our building (we normally park around front) and it looked like the people below us had moved out. Bryan then made a joke about what it would be like to live under us. Hmmm.... combined we weigh about 600 pounds and that's not even counting our cats. When they chase each other, it sounds like a herd of buffalo stampeding through the living room. Come to think of it, maybe we did chase the downstairs neighbors away??? I am so thankful that we only signed a 6-month lease. July 28th can't get here soon enough.

Why Do I Bother

to diet? Why can't I just accept the fact that I love food and more than that, I love to eat?

I lasted about a month on Weight Watchers this time. One whole month. And since that time, I have gained back what I loss plus a little extra for safe-keeping. I tried to blame it on the fact that we didn't have the money to pay for it. I tried to blame it on the stress of moving. I tried to blame it on not having a job. It's so much easier to blame something, someone else, other than yourself.

So, I got this hair-brained scheme to go back to dieting 101...counting calories. That lasted about a week. I did manage to lose 5 pounds that week though. And so far, I've only gained back 3.

This endless cycle goes on and on. Food is my addiction. I wish it wasn't.

This is going to sound incredibly insane but sometimes I wish I was addicted to something else, like drugs or alcohol. Ok, I know what you are thinking. What sane person wishes they were addicted to drugs, or alcohol for that matter? My very weird rationale is that with drugs and alcohol, you have to (or at least are supposed to) give it up cold turkey. With food, you still have to eat. Eat to live right? Then why do I live to eat?

Maybe one of these days I'll stick to a diet. Maybe I will find a job and all my stress will go away. Yeah, right. I didn't think so either.

Another day, another diet.

It's Been a While

I have stayed away for quite a while. It was not intentional. I have been quite busy considering I am now unemployed. ;)

I filed Ch. 13 two weeks ago. Surprisingly, it was very pain-free.

Now, I am playing phone tag with our mortgage company. I am hoping and praying that they will let us turn the house back over to them. We just can't afford it anymore. I have started packing and it is quite depressing. It seems like so many people have fallen on hard times and I can completely relate. In fact, I just found out that my realtor "gave back" her house to the bank. She bought a huge house shortly before we closed on ours and like so many, she can no longer afford it. I guess I never thought about the hard times that the realtors are dealing with right now.

We have a new addition to our feline family. His name is Tucker and he is the devil reincarnate. I found him on craigslist and his owner's were giving him away because they traveled too much. Hog wash!!! Now that we have had him a month, we know the real reason. He is evil, plain and simple. He gets along with his sisters but he likes to attack Bryan and me, except, of course, when we are about to feed him. Here is a pic of the little devil.



Bryan wants to give him back but I am determined to make him a nice kitty. Heaven help me...

That's about it for now. I still haven't found a job. There are two Senior Planner positions in the DC suburbs that I am thinking about applying for. I'd prefer to stay in NC but I guess we will see what happens.

hello darkness my old friend

Two weeks ago, I met with an attorney about filing a Chapter 13 bankruptcy.

Last Friday, I got laid off from my job of 4 1/2 years.

And today, Bryan and I made the decision to put down our 5 year cat, Charlie.

I am in a very dark place right now. I have decided to make an appt. with my Dr. tomorrow to see about getting some anti-anxiety pills. I have never done this before but I feel like I am going to lose it. I think I may have had a panic attack in the vet's parking lot today. I couldn't breathe and it scared me to death.

I have to believe that everything happens for a reason. Something good will happen. I just have to wait and see. Right?

Charlie, My Boy

My little boy is not doing so well. He was starting to regurgitate daily again so I took him back to the vet. The appt. was at 5:30PM yesterday so I made Bryan go with me. When the vet tech. told me that he dropped another pound and was down to 8.9, I started crying. He normally weighs 14 pounds and is now a shell of his previous self. The vet decided to put him back on the anit-nausea medicine but this time, I get to give it to him in liquid form since he is so hard to medicate. She also called in a prescription for some very expensive liquid Pepcid. I eagerly gave it to him last night hoping he would feel better but instead he vomited within an hour of getting the new medicine. It breaks my heart to see him not feeling good and I am beginning to think that he has given up his will to live. He now hides in weird places and doesn't want to be touched. Dear God, please let the new medicine work and if not, please give me the strength to let him go peacefully. I am not going to put a feeding tube in him because to me (and in my vet's opinion), it then becomes about me and not him. I will keep you updated. Until then, please keep him in your prayers.

Rainy Day Blues

I know I haven't posted in a while. It just seems like the month of August and the first half of September have been a blur for me.

On a happy note - my mom is doing much better. She definitely does not have cancer and last week, she found a new attorney to take her accident case.

Charlie is still throwing up some but he seems to be gaining some weight back so that is good. I am supposed to feed him in an upright position and hold him upright for 10 minutes after he eats. HA! Fat chance of that happening. I make an attempt at it every time he eats and when I am able to hold him for a longer period, he does end up keeping his food down.

I rejoined WW for the bizillioneth time. Even though we don't have the money to do it, Bryan said that since I enjoy it and it takes me mind off of other things, it is worth it.

Now for the not-so-good news - We are in a horrible financial state. Bryan's job loss back in November, coupled with some bad decisions on our part and Charlie's medical bills have left us in a terrible state financially. After speaking with a credit counselor yesterday, it turns out that I may need to file for a Chapter 13 bankruptcy. YIKES!! Just the word bankruptcy sends shivers down my spine. I really don't know why I am so scared of it. I know 4 people who have done it...2 ex-boyfriends, 1 college friend and my sister. My sister was the only one out of the 4 that filed for Chapter 13, which is the one where you set up a payment plan. If I have to file, that is the route I want to go. I (we) ran up the ran so I (we) need to be financially responsible and pay it back.

This whole bankruptcy thing has really got me to thinking about life in general. I have a roof over my head, food on the table, a family that loves me and 3 kitties that I adore. Life is good even though this past year has thrown some kinks into it. When I heard about Lehman Brothers yesterday, my heart immediately went out to all of those people who lost their jobs, along with their families. I know what it is like first hand to have an unexpected job loss in the family. I pray that they have a good support system of family and friends and that they will be able to make it through the difficult times that lie ahead.

It is raining outsuide right now and as I look out my window, it looks very dark and somber. I wish I was at home curled up in my bed with a good book and one of my kitties. Ok, my hubby can be there, too! ;)

Biggest Loser starts tonight. YEA!!!! And Grey's Anatomy starts next week. TV life is good again. :)